So stupid.

Jul. 19th, 2010 05:04 am
baneofsociety: (Default)
Here's something I posted on my livejournal (warning--this is a long-ass post):

START OF ENTRY

"There is nothing like blank paper, or an empty document or text box to type in. Every time I see it there's this little sense of relief. It's the same relief I have when I see a blade or look at the cuts I've made on my body. And I suppose it's a safer outlet, writing. Because maybe I am becoming addicted.

The trouble is deciding whether or not I care. Because I see nothing wrong with being ugly or disfigured, and in fact I want parts of me to be that way. My body, at least. I don't want people to look at me and go, "Ohhh, she's a babe." Instead, I want them to be shocked and repulsed, if they even see my bare skin at all.

Continue here )
baneofsociety: (Default)
Putting this here so that my page isn't blank... don't really have much to say right now though and I might delete it later once I actually make a real entry.

The one thing on my mind right now: I am pissed as hell at my parents, at my situation, and I am now to the point where I know I have to get out. I just need someone there to help me stay motivated because my depression often saps everything out of me. Sometimes just breathing is so hard.

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baneofsociety: (Default)
Upsetting the Established Order....

July 2010

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